So it has been requested, in a not so subtle way, that i begin a new blog...however, it is of course, only to please those who engage the blog.
I suppose its time i spill some of my own personal philosophy on to the world wide web...that's why it exists right? For nobody's to express themselves to nobody's. Very strange...anyhow...
In recent weeks, i have been faced with deep personal discovery in regard to myself and this thing humans have dubbed - love. (I just want to preface all this by saying that i'm refering to "true love" and not that instinctual stuff you feel for offspring or syblings etc..) And for the most part my soul/self-searching has brought me to atleast one conclusion, love is not an emotion. Love is a culmination of activities and mental states that almost always incorporates another human. (however, i have seen some really repulsive displays of love towards inanimate objects on these so-called reality Tv shows...and i just want to say that i don't watch tv on any regular basis...i was at somebody's house and they had some stupid f**kin' show on where these people steal your car and overhaul it...and ...it was just f**kin' stupid) anyway...tangent...Love is a culmination of activities and mental states and requires only a few things to exist. Intimacy, Affection, Respect, Friendship, and mutual experience. (notice: the word sex was not used specifically because love does not require sex. ) If one of these aspects of a relationship between two people is missing, then i argue that their love is less than fulfilling. And i also contend that if a relationship's mutual experiences are built a drug, such as, alcohol or heroine (they are virtually the same drug wouldn't you say...i mean could you argue the fact that they both are home-wrecking drugs, n'est pas?) then love is in the drug not the person. Take away the drug and suddenly the relationship is not so...good. (i'm kind of babbling at the moment, but i just don't care...) and the "romance" word has definitely been baffling me. What is romance? Hmmm? Can anyone answer with a very specific definition...and i'm not talking no freakin' webster definition, what the hell is romance. Just listen to yourself say this phrase, "I'm going to romance her." or in the case of females, "I'm going to romance him." what the hell does that mean? Spoil the person? i almost feel spoiling is the common end product because what else does it really entail? you are going to make someone feel very special, by doing what?....by giving them things they really like, by doing things they really like, by making sure that while you're "romancing" them, the world is revolving around them. n'est pas? (for the non-french savvy..that means - yes/no? and pronounced -Ness Pah-, and ironically French has been dubbed by some, the language of love. Or to others,its like wiping your ass with silk as the words roll off your tongue...but i'm not talking about languages here...just sidetracking on them..) I think my own personal definition of Romance, is making someone else feel extra special....catering to his or her desires with precision. In the cliche sense romance is remembering a specific date that was significant in your history with someone else and playing on that, or buying that person something you know they will just "love" you for. and on and on and on...so like i said...making them feel special. Which if you ask me is always done in an intimate fashion, that is, if done correctly to be deemed romantic. However, i imagine that some people think of sitting together in the living room, enrobed in garments that support their favorite sports team and watching them do that gladiator thing, is romantic. (to each his or her own...right?) So i can't say that i personally feel that watching, football for instance, is very romantic or intimate. But being romantic is just another aspect of this "love" thing. And i now i ask this, why would you begin to love someone in the first place? Say if they were a complete stranger...chances are, you just ain't going to love them. Lust, yeah probably, but not love. So that tells me love requires something other than being in the presence of the person...something like mutual experience. So being in his or her personal space for elongated stretches of time, so you "get to know" them....Which is an act of intimacy by the way. And what if you don't express any affection to that special someone....how could you say you love them? And if you don't respect them...then you don't love them. and if you don't think they are your friend, then i ask how the F**K could you love them??? I am personally entertained by the marriage scenario. And it's a real strange institution because everyone looks at it differently, some look at it as a financial gain, some see it as a way to escape a present situation, some use it to satisfy their god so they can screw without guilt, some do it because everyone else is doing it, some get married because they've suddenly become parents, and they few, the proud, the real, get married for love. But i personally do not think that marriage should be a product of love, and it most definitely is incorrect to function in the opposite manner....love being a product of marriage. So is Commitment a part of love? Is this different from monogamy? I suggest that they are very different. Monogamy obviously falls under the respect category. If you respect someone you are sharing your life with...f**king someone else may not be the best way to show your respect. When it comes to commitment in marriage...what are you committing to? (And i will say right now, in case anyone was wondering...i'm not married, nor am i in the market for such strange behavior) Why do people have to get married to commit to one another? What's the line....in sickness and in health, until death do us part...... So this commitment thing does have a severance point. you only have to commit until death...or until you take your spouse to divorce court, which is so ironically popular, i just don't know what to think of marriage. apparently, many other people don't know what "love" is either. And if you're catholic and you get divorced, they kick your ass out....unless you pay enough money to get back in which, again, is ironically popular. So i feel i'm floating away from the query at hand...what are you committing to when you commit to another person. Are you committing your body? your mind? your wallet? your gun? your semen/ovaries? your new mustang? your keen sense of wit? your ability to remain sane? your insanity? Well...i guess in a way...its "yes" to all of those things, at least if you get married...what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine, etc... So lets forget about marriage for a second here because i feel its skewing things a bit. Just choose a human and commit to them. What does that entail? calling them on tuesday and wednesday nights? going out to eat on thursdays? watching a movie on Sunday? if their sad, you try to make them happy?...hmm....there's a new element right..happiness and sadness...those are real human emotions and when confronted with someone your committed to experience a "non-desirable" emotion, what the hell do ya do? (and for purposes of grammatic complication, when i refer to the other person from this point on, its going to be female, but it definitely applies to all sexes..there's about 30 or 40 different genders right? ...that will be the next blog ;) You try to make her feel good about herself right? show her that you can be strong for her and that this emotional catastrophy she is experiencing is going to end and she will be stronger because of it. But you will be her mental support until equilibrium returns. What kind of a person does that? A friend.
So through all this crazy weirdness that i've been spewing on this blog, it seems apparent to me that Commitment is no more than offering her your freindship and everything a friend would do. But friends don't have to marry in order to perform those daily majik acts with their basket-case friends. The power resides in their historical bond and mutual experience that has spanned any number of seconds..days...years..The power is in their knowledge of that person and what can make that person feel good. So when ya get married all that needs to be said is....you promise to be a friend? not that fair weather kind...a real honest to goodness friend. I do. Remember: Love is - Friendship, intimacy, affection, respect, and sharing your life with that other person. tell me i'm wrong :)